The Dating Pool Drought for Black Women?
Posted by
Beauty Backup in
Black women on
Aug 4th, 2010 |
25 responses
My boyfriend, Kwan, and I discuss whether there truly is a dating pool drought for black women.
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25 Responses to “The Dating Pool Drought for Black Women?”
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@TheSoctress
uh, I didn’t have to go to your page to see what you look like, genius. Everytime you reply to a comment your avatar/icon shows your face in my inbox.
Wow. It’s gotten weird!
Judging by the way you’ve handled yourself in this exchange, it is no mystery to me why may be having issues with black men. You don’t *listen*, you’re loud & the concept of self-introspection (role you play) seems foreign to you. If I had any clue you would be this way, I would’ve left this alone.
@kimmaytube Hey, sorry, I feel like the last comment came off a little harsh. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you seem concerned with Blk families, marriage,etc, you seem concerned with BW/BM getting together and I’m not. I didn’t mean give the impression that I’m looking for a BM, I was just using examples and hypotheticals. If you’re concerned with “Blk marriage, family,” that’s fine. It’s your right.
@kimmaytube: Now it’s annoyingly repetitive. It’s fruitless to continue this debate. No value in it. Let me just say this and let that be all. I think you’re cool and I like some of your videos, I’m actually subscribed to you. But, please,don’t go to my page to see what I look like, try to find out a little about me, and then “identify” me. I understand the inclination but, you should always try to be careful about “identifying” people.
@kimmaytube:You’ve commented and asserted your opinions just like everyone else on here and your opinions aren’t new. My opinions aren’t new. Sorry to be rude but, that’s how I view your remarks. I certainly didn’t “catch” your attempt to “lead to deeper understanding.” But, it’s cool. These are really just opinions on youtube, it’s fun to debate people and it’s fun and sometimes intense, when talking about relationships, dating, marriage,etc.
@kimmaytube: I didn’t know caps were bothersome to you. I’ve never had a problem with this and it never bothers me when people use caps. I generally don’t read much into it. The purpose of the caps was to drive home a point. Anyway, I digress. “Lead to deeper understanding,” seriously? No offense but, your remarks don’t, ya know what, forget it, it’s not worth it.
@TheSoctress
hey, I don’t know what’s going on. But I know I was not about to have some in depth, cultural, brain dissection of what goes on inside a white man’s head. lol. I am a black woman conversing with another black woman. Since you showed an interest in black men, I focused my reponses on that. Yes, from my own personal experiences, observations and more importantly, what black men have actually said & continue to say on a regular basis. They have a lot of valid points imho.
I agree with you. As a black educated young woman, I have learned that being open minded is so important for me to be with someone who will make me happy and appreciate me for who I am. I had the reverse experience of dating outside my race before dating in my race. I love black men but if the man God has made for me isn’t black, then that’s what it’ll be. Thank you for your honesty, views, and words. God Bless!
I’m very picky about whom I am attracted to romantically. Its rare I am attracted romantically to a black man. In the end (thus far), I’m dating a white man. The pool for black women is simply who is attracted to black women? Or better yet, who is attracted to you. That is your pool. And I think that is the way this needs to be looked at. We’re not animals that you are finding statistics for to make us reproduce… we’re all very individualistic.
@kimmaytube: “Your “responses” just seem to go all over the place.” It probably feels this way because I’ve made several comments and I’ve responded to all of your comments, remarks that I didn’t agree with or took issue with. However, I’ve maintained the same general argument, w/ smaller debates that I probably should not have engaged.
@Khemistry101
I’ve tried to stress the importance of class divisions before, on my channel. There are some die-hard people who will never see the tsunami. Racism, while alive and well, has nothing on Classism! Truth be told, it seems like a lot of working class, white people are just starting to realize this as well. They should listen, I mean, really *listen* to Shirley Sherrod.
@TheSoctress
I didn’t make any generalizations. The burden of proof is on you. I’ve said nothing that isn’t true in the general public. Prove me wrong. You seem to have your hopes up, providing many excuses for why white men aren’t actively pursuing BW instead of facing the reality. Overall, the majority aren’t interested. Ask them.
You seem fixated on the topic of interracial dating even though I tried to steer the conversation to how black women can better seek viable black men.
@TheSoctress
No offense, but it doesn’t seem like you actually read what I write. Your responses just seem to go all over the place. Caps are unnecessary & can be interpreted as yelling, even if that is not your intent. I’m just letting you know this because it may discourage someone (out of fatigue) from debating with you. Overall, I think I understand where you’re coming from, but the purpose of my statements were to lead to deeper understanding beyond cliches. Not sure if you caught it.
@kimmaytube: Part 11, Con’t: Last one-However, I can debate you when you make a generalization and state it as a fact or when you state your opinion (which is what it really is) as a fact. You’re entitled to your own opinions but, you’re NOT entitled to your own facts! Sorry.
@kimmaytube: Part 10, Con’t: You, on the other hand will need to do research in order to make the generalization that BW/WM “are generally not attracted to each other.” YOUR argument IS “POSSIBLE” but, it’s NOT empirical! If you had said something like, in my view, or in my opinion, that would’ve been different because I can’t debate you about your experiences. Period.
@kimmaytube: Part 9 Con’t: “You’re arguing possible exceptions.” You’re exactly right, they ARE possible AND they ARE REAL! Chance, opportunity, and region (to name a few) often times play a role in interracial dating/marriage and dating/marriage IN GENERAL. This isn’t rocket science, I don’t need to do a study to say this. This is simple, sensible, reasoned thinking.
@kimmaytube
Sounds like you’ve peeped the game!
Class bigotry is big, it even transcends race.
@Khemistry101
Exactly. And the majority of us are transplants that come from states all over the US.
So if anything, it is the great “melthing pot” of black folks. A nice diverse sample to tell what we’re really all about.
@kimmaytube: Part 8, Con’t: I don’t mind the terms good/bad IN THIS CONTEXT, cause these terms can refer to compatibility traits that a person can deem “good/bad” FOR THEM. So, in this way, they are useful.
@TheSoctress
Your responses focus a lot on interracial dating, which to be honest is not of great interest to me. Never was. Since I can’t spend time going back & forth with you all I can say is this–you will see for yourself. I’m not pulling these ideas out of thin air. It’s based on my exposure to various racial & socio-economic groups in college & corporate life. You are arguing “possible” exceptions. I am simply calling attention to actual, (including measurable) social trends.
@smedheat
LOL! That is true.
@kimmaytube: Part 7 Con’t: Well, in my opinion, there ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF BLK FOLKS. I’m not saying that blks folks in Maryland don’t share any problems that some poor Blks have but, I am referring to socioeconomic status, how one carries themself and values. Blks, like any other group ARE NOT a monolithic group. There are ingroup differences and variations.
@kimmaytube
I’ll hafta agree with you about Maryland. I live there as well. There is NO difference.
@kimmaytube: Part 6, Con’t: I don’t mean to suggest that it’ll be rosey if I go to ATL or Maryland. I’m not that naive! I just think there might be more opportunity and a greater chance of me being able to meet MORE BM (if it was my goal to only date BM)whose socioeconomic status matches mine, who is more educated, have good solid jobs/careers,etc RELATIVE TO a places like Chicago or Detroit or Gary,etc.
@kimmaytube: Part 5, Con’t, This is the problem with talking about dating, relationships. So much of how we think, what we say is based on our experiences and we really have a difficult time, stepping outside or going beyond our experiences. So much of this is conjecture and heresay. That’s all it is. This is what these little debates are centered on.
@kimmaytube: Part 4, I think ANY MAN OR WOMAN should be honest with themselves about their dating opportunities,etc And it’s not always about “are other races of men asking her out.” This is too simplistic, it’s old fashioned and traditional. Traditional dating STILL has relavance, I acknowledge that. But, dating has EVOVLED! People aren’t always meeting at churches, potlucks or on the street and men arean’t the only ones taking initiative and doing the asking. Just sayin’.